Very often an unfamiliar situation or even crisis comes up and throws everything into confusion. Restructuring in companies, termination of long term partnerships, death, unemployment or even the orders of #stayhomestaysafe and the associated uncertainty about the challenges of the next hours and days.
Questions: “Will my internet hold up when I have an important online conference?”, “How is the situation developing and when can I move again without any worries?”, “When will a situation of isolation be lifted again? “Will I ever find a partner again?”, “When can I be happy again?” This always means a phase of retreat. It is a time of reflection and integration with new insights. It can be compared to winter as part of the 4 seasons, or the new moon, or even the time around midnight, when everything is dark around us. According to chronobiology, it is the time to gather new strength, in which we should rest within ourselves, reflect and in which new ideas are born (or even something becoming alive in 9 months 🙂 ).
People react in very different ways to this situation of retreat and external circumstances. For an introverted person this might be a good time, because he is not constantly challenged to get out of himself and can now think about things in a more undisturbed mood. An extroverted person on the other hand feels rather patronized by this phase. How many young people go out actually after 10:00 pm to have a party and fun. For them, it may seem more like a prison they want to break out of.
We all have different personality types in us.
The examples described depends for sure on a specific personal life situation. If someone is currently working on his dissertation, this time may help to continue work intensively with the dissertation helps to keep focused – a reappraisal of the overall situation is nevertheless recommended – closing eyes is not good.
Hand on your heart! Have you ever participated in a personality tests (Big Five for Life, MBTI, Bochum Inventory, Papi, Profiling Values etc.) with the thought in mind of what result you want to achieve – or e.g. in an application situation? This is exciting and maybe the result will be what you would like to be. This is completely legitimate. Some personality tests work with pairs of terms to find out your values. And here, too, you might think about what you think is more moral or not.
What is really important?
Are you happy with the results? Do you live completely authentically with these half-truths? How much strength does it cost you to appear outwardly although you feel completely different inside? This is also legitimate. Often something like this is demanded of us, or when we have children we have to be strong to give them strength and support. But the more we want to embody something on the outside, which is not supported by our inner dispositions, the more strenuous it is to maintain it.
My clients are usually very surprised how aptly I can describe them.
An example? I talk a lot with a client about our nature and its analogies. This week I talked to one of my clients about what comes to his mind when he hears the word “earth”. The result: It was very surprising for the client to see that he is perceived outwardly as a mighty and rock solid mountain. Inside, however, he feels much more like fertile farmland, which individually wants to give others help and a basis for growth.
So everybody has his own imagination. We have illuminated this picture very intensively, expanded it in many ways and looked at and discussed it on different levels. New images and alternative courses of action came to the client’s mind. This intensive reflection will continue throughout the next coaching sessions. What is the driving factor to be perceived like a mountain to the outside world? Why does he want to be seen strong and powerful? What prevents him from being the fertile farmland? What would have to change for him to live this strength even better?
My coaching sessions.
In my coaching sessions we also work intensively with the personality traits. I sometimes use thought-provoking impulses to help my clients to live their lifes and dreams in harmony with their own inner talents.
Another question – what would these pictures say about your leadership style? Or how you deal with your family, your leadership team, your company and your external partner network? Do you always behave the same way? When can you live more like you are? What kind of environment is necessary for that? What adjustments do you need to make in your personal or professional life to make it easier? Which beliefs should be looked at and changed?
We all have different roles to play in our lives. We are wonderful beings and can also acquire new talents. After almost 30 years of corporate business, I can very well understand that sometimes we have to play a role – this is necessary to move the corporate ladder up. At some point the crucial point comes when the feeling of being too far away from yourself becomes overpowering. How do you say then: “love it, leave it or change it”.
You want to understand yourself even better and how strongly 10 different personality parts are present in you?
How these personality traits deal with exceptional situations I will reveal in the following blog articles.
Until then I wish you #stayhomestaysafe.